The Great Debate
by myfreudianslip
Summary: It all started, innocently enough, with a pair of jeans.
1. Chapter 1

**The Great Debate**

Those jeans were scaring Naruto.

No one could blame him. They were shameless jeans.

As a matter of fact, if he found out which store Sasuke had bought those jeans from, he would pay the place a little visit and SUE them for selling pornographic clothing items to minors. Or set up a shrine for them, because surely ass hugging brilliance of this sort requires worship and disciples.

Naruto just _knew_ the bastard was wearing them on purpose to taunt him. What other explanation could there be? Uchiha Sasuke _never_ stood before him in line in the cafeteria. As far as Naruto was concerned, Uchiha Sasuke never stood before him in anything. Period.

But no. _Today_ of all the days, he was calmly standing before him, just a few inches away, wearing _those_ jeans, tapping impatiently on his tray. He was so close in fact, that his stupid chicken-butt hair was tickling Naruto's nose, and also, incidentally, obstructing his view of Sasuke's denim clad backside.

Naruto didn't consider himself the smartest lion in the pride, but he knew a set up when he saw one, or given current circumstances, when it was tickling his nose.

So it didn't take long for understanding to strike. Immediately, he saw the situation for what it was.

The _jerk_.

Sasuke was trying to distract him so that he would make a fool of himself at the inter school debate Konoha High was hosting that afternoon. He was afraid that Naruto would make a better impression on the audience, so he was _using his body_ to save his face. The cheater!

A small portion of his brain coughed uncomfortably at the analysis because 1) Naruto was, after all, in the same team as Sasuke and 2) he rarely ever made a better impression on the audience to render the brunette thus insecure.

Then Sasuke moved forward a little, so that the hair was no longer an obstruction, and that portion of Naruto's brain picked up the pitchforks, gave a battle cry and joined the mob.

The angry fumes he was emanating must have been particularly radioactive, because Sasuke looked back at him, lips turned down, one disdainful eyebrow raised.

'What?' he asked, tersely, looking for all he was worth, as though every breath he spared on Naruto was a breath wasted.

Naruto glared, and then realized that even though the jeans probably deserved it, glaring holes into them was probably not going to help his case. Then his brain processed the stray treacherous thought, and he abruptly turned pink.

Eyes, he thought, and dragged his glare up to meet Sasuke's narrow, obsidian one.

'Slut.' Naruto hissed.

Sasuke looked as though Naruto had dyed his hair pink and then tied it back into pigtails.

'Excuse me?'

'You heard me. I called you a slut,' Naruto told him, eager to confirm that yes, that is indeed what he labeled ass whores like Sasuke.

Then there was a fist and before he knew it, he was lying on the cold cafeteria floor staring at the hems of the bastard's jeans.

Naruto smiled. Hems he could handle. Hems, he decided, were innocent.

With that comfort in mind, Naruto launched, teeth bared, blood rushing.

*

'Let me get this straight.' Kiba said between bites of his beef sandwich. 'You bit Uchiha's ankle?'

Naruto only glared at him, pressing his cool can of coke into what felt like the shattered remains of his cheekbone.

'No wonder you get along so well with Akamaru,' Kiba continued, suddenly contemplative. 'He does that all the time to people he doesn't like.'

As a punishment, Naruto stole the other sandwich from Kiba's tray. Let the idiot go hungry. Across the table Chouji looked at him with something akin to paternal pride, as though food napping was the formal testimonial of their friendship.

'Tsunade will probably call you to her office after the debate.' Shikamaru said, looking exasperated. He rested his head on one of his palms. 'How troublesome.'

'I'll handle the old hag,' Naruto assured him brightly, before his face turned serious again. 'Though I probably won't have to make much of an effort this time. She'll take one look at what he's wearing and understand.'

He threw a dark look at the offending piece of clothing which was currently seated at the other end of the cafeteria.

Kiba choked on his sandwich. It was probably because, Naruto concurred, he was trying to achieve the impossible feat of chewing and laughing at the same time. Kiba might have canines sharp enough to rival his dog's, but when it came to applying his mouth to more than one physical activity simultaneously, he was still a teenage boy.

Naruto momentarily shifted his glare to another teenage boy he happened to know, another teenage _concubine_, with clothes which belonged to the wardrobe of a porn star, and thought, maybe not every teenage boy, because this particular specimen defied every given rule in the galaxy of ….teendom.

Because Naruto had _seen_ Sasuke dab at his mouth with a tissue after he had finished the burger Sakura chan had brought the two of them from the canteen (which Naruto told everyone Sasuke had eaten with his pinky finger sticking out even though it was a complete lie.) one afternoon when they had missed lunch while researching a turncoat topic. He had pointed it out to Sakura chan only to find himself sporting a lump the size of a watermelon on his head, while she rattled on about how _not every guy is oblivious to the concept of hygiene, Naruto, it might surprise you, but a few actually even know how to spell it._

He would have, of course, restored his pride the very next second with the aid of his flawless verbal prowess, but then he had caught sight of her fist again, and hastily asked Sasuke if the bastard could spare a paper napkin.

When the humiliation failed to kill him, Naruto had given all the credit to his survival skills.

His place was not in this world. Naruto had always had it in firm belief that he should have been born a ninja.

Vaguely, he noticed a hand being waved in front of his face.

'Earth to Naruto,' Kiba said, wiggling his fingers a little to better catch his friend's attention. 'Look at us. Not the jeans. Friends good. Jeans bad. Come baaaaack to us.'

'Shut up,' Naruto snapped, and threw a nut at him.

But hard, fatty food items were not to deter Kiba. 'So,' he said, mouth curved into a leer, and Naruto was suddenly very, very afraid. 'Uchiha's jeans, huh?'

It sounded to Naruto like a yes or no question, so he answered accordingly. 'Yes.'

'What about them?'

'That pair happens to be the main protagonist of a plot, conceived and hatched by an insecure git with all degrees of social problems, in order lessen my chances of winning the trophy for the best speaker, which will be awarded following the debate this afternoon.'

Shikamaru sighed, muttered, 'Drama queen' and closed his eyes to the painful activity that was watching Naruto. Kiba, on the other hand, leaned forward. 'Naruto,' he said very slowly, very surely. 'Why would Uchiha's jeans lessen your chances of winning?'

'Because they're a scandal,' Naruto explained, equally precisely. 'A denim scandal. This afternoon, they will be a denim scandal on stage!'

'Yes, but why are you so bothered by what Uchiha is wearing?'

'Shouldn't I be?' Naruto asked, feeling a little hunted. Confusion always made him panicky. 'He's wearing them to bother me, obviously.'

Kiba made an exasperated noise and leaned back into his chair. 'I give up,' he said, looking at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru shrugged noncommittally, and replied. 'You owe me ten bucks.'

'Yeah, yeah,' Kiba muttered darkly, throwing Naruto a dirty look, and fished out his wallet, 'I still don't agree with your "let him discover himself" theory though. I mean, this is Naruto we're talking about. Flying cars will be out of fashion before he realizes.'

'Can the two of you,' Naruto felt obliged to ask. 'Not talk about me as though I'm not sitting two feet away from you?'

Expectedly, he was treated like a block of wood; Kiba passed the money over to Shikamaru, and the only sound that reigned the momentary silence was the crunch of Chouji's teeth on his crackers.

*

'The two of you fought again?' Sakura asked, incredulously, staring at their bruises as she entered the library.

Sasuke scowled, and turned back to the scenery outside the French windows that covered a majority of the west wall. He had been studying it diligently for the past ten minutes, and had led Naruto to wonder if it was guilt that kept the other boy from meeting his eyes. For no matter from which angle he tried, he couldn't find anything interesting enough about the swimming pool below that would call on his attention so. No one was swimming. No skin on display. Nada.

It must be guilt, Naruto thought. He's probably just realized that there's no I in team.

Secure with the knowledge that the bastard was repenting, Naruto felt slightly benevolant. So he made an attempt at conversation.

'So, asshole,' he said, grinning his assurance that it's okay to be seduced by the devil sometimes. 'Ready to get your ass kicked?'

Sasuke looked at him, face a study in disdain, and said, 'No, moron, we're going to win.'

'I meant by me,' Naruto huffed, crossing his arms. Trust Sasuke to ruin the moment.

'By you?' One eyebrow shot up, imperiously. 'We're in the same team, idiot.'

Naruto bristled at both the insult, as well as the implications of the statement. This cheater was teaching _him_ about teamwork? 'Good to know you finally remembered that,' he shot back. 'And I meant the Best Speaker's trophy. I'm getting it.'

Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously, 'What do you mean? And also, you wish.'

Naruto felt that it was time to come clean. He understood Sasuke was immature that way. So as his teammate, it fell upon him to tell the asshole that cheating wasn't good.

'Sasuke,' he said, sententiously, 'cheating isn't good.'

Sasuke looked baffled. 'What?'

Naruto smiled understandingly. 'Sasuke, I _know_.'

'Know what?'

'All about your plan.'

'Wha – what plan, idiot?'

Naruto waved a hand in the general direction of Sasuke's crotch. 'Your jeans. The plan to distract me. I know. It's rather shameless, what you're doing and,' Naruto coughed awkwardly, 'you should understand that you shouldn't use your body this way. It deserves more respect.'

The colour made its way up Sasuke's collar till it slowly, but steadily began to make him resemble a lobster.

Naruto took it for embarrassment. He felt sorry for the bastard. Maybe he should have handled this with more care.

'Did your uncle,' Sasuke asked, his voice low, and his eyes hidden beneath his bangs, 'make an occupation out of dropping you on the head when you were young?'

Oh.

'No!' Naruto lied, suppressing a wince as he remembered his younger days with Jiraiya. 'And fuck you.'

Into this heartwarming moment dropped Sakura.

'For God's sake, wear your shirt, Naruto,' she said, throwing the Konoha debate team T-shirt at him. Naruto caught it and beamed at Sakura, who rolled her eyes and turned her back towards him, as she waited for him to put it on.

Naruto took off his favourite orange shirt and pulled the other one on. He liked their team T-shirt even though he had originally requested for them to be orange. Now, though, he had to admit that the name of their debating society 'Leaf', printed in white at the back, looked way cooler on black.

He smoothed out the creases, and glanced up to find Sasuke quickly looking away.

'I know you're plotting something, asshole,' Naruto said, letting the boy know that he was on to him. 'It won't work.'

'Fucking hell, I'm not plotting anything.'

'Plotting what?' Sakura asked, confused.

'His jeans,' Naruto said, by way of explanation, 'he's obviously trying to distract me.'

'For the last time, Usuratonkanchi,' Sasuke said through clenched teeth, face livid, 'I'm NOT trying to-'

'Warming up for the main event? Excellent. That's my team.'

'YOU'RE LATE!' Naruto and Sakura yelled at the silver haired man who had just entered the room, smiling amiably.

'Well, you see,' Kakashi thoughtfully brought his forefinger up to scratch at the mask covering the lower half of his face, 'I was on my way when this beautiful princess showed up and –'

Naruto groaned. 'If it's Iruka you're talking about, we don't need to hear the details.'

'Anyway,' Sakura said seriously, 'we should go. Sand and Sound are already seated.'

Outside, right before entering the auditorium, Sakura asked him, 'What about Sasuke kun's jeans, Naruto? It's normal for us to wear our jeans and T-shirt for debates.'

'Have you LOOKED at them? Can't you see what he's up to?' Naruto flailed his arms encompass the volume of Sasuke's wrongdoings, tired off having to explain to people over and over again what was, in his opinion, blatantly obvious.

Sakura studied him for a minute before bursting into laughter.

'It's not funny.' Naruto pouted, and then growled as Sasuke pushed past him and entered the hall.

*

Naruto was the third speaker.

Today was a Cambridge style debate, with a time limit of four plus three plus three plus three minutes, including the rebuttal. Their opponent, Sand, was seated across them on the stage. This was the third debate of the annual tri-series between Sand, Sound and Leaf, both the teams having defeated Sound earlier.

The chairman announced that it was Leaf's first speaker, Uchiha Sasuke's turn to address the house.

Naruto hated to admit it, and usually never did except to himself, but Sasuke was a brilliant speaker. The first time Naruto had been paired up with him, he had thought, holy fucking God, _stage presence_. When Sasuke spoke, the entire audience seemed to be holding their breath.

And it wasn't just because Sasuke was ridiculously good looking, or because he was the most popular guy in school (among the girls) and the audience was almost always infiltrated by his fan club. It was because, Naruto knew, Sasuke was a ruthless debater.

He was violent with facts; presenting them hard and sharp, like the cold glint of a knife's edge. He made you see blood, scream rape, change your views on politics – all the while standing calmly with his hands folded on the podium. His speech was graphic, and though he used minimal description, eerily visual.

Sakura chan had once said that when Sasuke finishes his speech, she always feels like she's waking up from an illusion.

Naruto had just snorted and asked Sasuke if he needed a broom for the witching hour.

Naruto's style was the polar opposite.

When Kakashi had first suggested that he try out for the debate team, he had flat out asked him if he was trying to butter him up to get into Iruka's good books.

'Because he is, you know, my godfather,' Naruto had muttered, glaring balefully.

Kakashi had smiled, his visible eye nothing but a crescent of innocence, and Naruto's suspicions were confirmed.

'You are, aren't you?'

'No,' Kakashi's reply was not what Naruto had been expecting. 'I want you to try out because you have a gift for convincing people.'

Later, when the final school team had been decided, Kakashi had informed him that he was the third speaker.

'I want you to play to your strengths.' Kakashi had said, turning to him, after finishing off with Sasuke and Sakura. 'Don't make it a monologue, make it a conversation. Involve the audience, talk to them, make them laugh. And since you're the last speaker of the team before the rebuttal starts, you need to use your last forty five seconds to wrap up your team's arguments without sounding repetitive.'

For a moment, Naruto had wondered how someone as untidy and disorganized as him, how someone who hadn't even been able to gift wrap the earrings he had bought Sakura chan when they were twelve without creating a mess of torn cellophane and spangled cellotape, would be able to wrap up nine minutes worth of opinions and interpretations without injuring himself.

Luckily Uzumaki Naruto had always been an expert at convincing himself, and before they knew it, Leaf had been on a winning spree.

So Naruto had a technique, and it started with face eating smile. It might not be as graceful as Sasuke's or as precise as Sakura's, but in its own rough, painfully honest way it charmed the audience and drew them in.

And afterwards, carefully, as though protecting a precious person, Naruto wrapped up his team's arguments with a neat little thought, and left the podium with another blinding smile.

Then Sasuke came forward for the rebuttal and proceeded to bite the other lead speaker's head off.

With two such extremes on either side of her, Sakura had been left to blend the two styles in. Even though none of them had ever said it out aloud, it was a given notion that she was a bridge, balancing the dynamics and making them a team.

*

Sand was good, really good.

The three siblings, Gaara, Kankarou and Temari made a positively lethal team.

But, Naruto thought, Leaf was better. And it looked as though Sand had realized it as well.

Sasuke was in the middle of delivering his rebuttal, and all that was left after that was for Gaara to deliver his. It wasn't a definite win, but from the way the judges were drinking in Sasuke's words, Naruto thought Leaf might have the upper hand.

Gaara, Naruto noticed, was looking livid; angry lines lacerated the usually impassive planes of his face, embedding themselves deeper as Sasuke continued to speak.

Talk about Type A competitiveness. He looked as though he might have a heart attack before he got to deliver his own rebuttal.

Naruto turned back to Sasuke and watched the way his Adam's apple, moist under all the glaring lights, shifted as he spoke. He was trying to avoid the jeans, and doing, if he may say so himself, a spectacular job.

Next thing he knew there was a loud gasp and Gaara had fallen into a crouch on the floor, wheezing painfully, while Temari rubbed his back and Kankarou fished out an inhaler.

Sasuke tactfully uttered a hasty 'I rest my case', and Team Leaf rushed over to other the side of the stage.

'This is bad,' Temari said, urgency clear in her voice. 'We need to take him to your infirmary.'

'I'll take you there,' Sakura offered and slung one of Gaara's arms over her shoulders while Kankarou took the other side, and together they holstered him up. 'You should stay here,' She told Temari.

'We can't continue without Gaara,' Temari said, watching the two carry her brother out of the hall, Iruka sensei trotting behind them. 'I suppose we'll have to forfeit.'

'No you won't,' Naruto whipped his head around to see Tsunade approaching them. 'A guest fell ill under our roof, of course we won't allow you to forfeit. We'll reschedule. A new topic will be decided upon, and we'll hold the debate whenever your teammate regains his health. At any rate, Konoha doesn't care for a default win.'

With that she walked back into audience, leaving two gaping boys behind her.

'Huh?' Naruto said. 'We don't?'

Sasuke looked furious. 'Reschedule? Reschedule when? Our mid term tests start next week.'

Temari smirked. 'Why, Uchiha, scared?'

Sasuke snorted. 'Coming from the team that was getting trampled today, that's almost humorous.'

Temari's smirk remained, though her eyes hardened considerably. 'Still the same Sasuke, huh?'

Naruto squinted but failed to catch a hint of pink on the thin, thin linear remains of Sasuke's mouth.

'Excuse me,' said Sasuke, tightly, and shoved past Naruto again.

'Hey,' Naruto yelled out of habit, before remembering and turning back to Temari. 'You know Sasuke?'

Temari turned to him with a frown. 'Uzumaki Naruto,' she said, as though testing the name on her tongue, 'You're a talented speaker.'

Naruto beamed at her. 'Of course I am. I'm going to get the best speakers trophy of the tri-series.'

Temari looked amused. 'Are you? Bet Uchiha takes that well.'

Naruto was starting to like her more and more. Why did Sasuke have to go around dissing all the nice people?

Oh, right, he was Sasuke.

'I had a thing with Sasuke, in case you're wondering.'

There was a dull thud and Naruto recognized it as the sound of his jaw hitting the floor.

'You,' he squeaked. Coughed. Tried again. 'You guys were dating?'

Temari started laughing. 'Dating? Christ, no. I used to have a part time job as a barista in the coffee shop opposite his house. I thought he was cute, so I asked him if he would be interested in a fuck, no strings attached, and so we hooked up. Or tried to.'

Naruto was trying to make sense of all the pieces rushing through his head like a dust storm. This, what she was saying, implied at _normal_ things, like hormones. So did this mean –

Holy fuck, did this mean Sasuke was (Naruto's eyes went very wide)…_human_?

So the social retardation, the radioactive personality, the optical laser beam were all creations of the Almighty?

Darn, and Naruto had made it his life's mission to locate the chip that drove Sasuke. He had been ready to bet his ramen money that the chicken butt hair was actually a fallacy, artfully designed to hide the antenna.

And he had, too. Now he would have to buy Kiba sushi for a month.

But the Uzumaki eyes were open. Naruto finally understood Sasuke for what he was.

A freak of nature.

'What do you mean, tried to?' he asked Temari, through the hazy film of shock.

Temari's smirk had been purchased from the devil. 'Well, it didn't really work. Turns out that Uchiha Sasuke can't get it up.'

Naruto stopped breathing.

'WHAT?'

'Not even after twenty minutes of foreplay.'

'WHAT?'

'Not even after I brought the ice cubes and the cream out. Not even,' here Temari lowered her voice, 'after I used my fan.'

'WHA – wait a minute, fan?'

Temari nodded sagely.

Naruto's brain was breaking. This was…simply too much information to process.

'So,' he said, slowly. 'Do you reckon that he, you know, can't? Or was that a special case scenario?'

Wrong thing to say. Temari glared at him. 'What. Do. You. Mean?

Naruto gulped. 'Nothing, just-'

'Listen, you runt, do I look like someone who can't turn a guy on? I mean, have you _seen_ these?'

Naruto's eyes immediately dropped to her chest, and in a matter of a second he had decided that no, it was definitely not a special case scenario.

It took a minute for his thoughts to settle.

Then his face split into the grin of doom. His glee was as deep as the ocean.

*

Naruto found him outside the canteen.

'Oi, bastard,' he called behind Sasuke's retreating back.

Sasuke neither stopped nor turned. Naruto had to jog to catch up.

Never the guy to beat around the bush, Naruto got straight to the point. 'Soooo,' he drawled, 'you can't get it up?'

Sasuke stopped, his entire body tense. Naruto watched in fascination as The Vein of Terror sama made its appearance on Sasuke's forehead. 'What did you say?'

Each word sounded as though the bastard had bitten it. Hard.

Naruto smiled sweetly. 'You can't get it up.'

'Do you _want_ to die a bloody death on the doorstep of the canteen? I won't hesitate.'

'You can't get it up.'

'Fuck you!'

'You can't.'

Sasuke looked for a moment as though he might carry out his threat. But then he just took a deep breath, turned away from Naruto, and entered the canteen.

Obviously, Naruto followed him.

'You can't, can you?'

'Will you _stop_?'

'So I not only beat you at debating, but I'm also more _manly_.'

Sasuke's glare turned the water in the nearest cooler to ice.

'I swear dobe, another word –'

'But you have to be nice to me now, Sasuke!' Naruto smirked. 'Because God knows what your fangirls are going to do when they realize that they can't have your babies. Wanna know what I think? I think they'll all join a nunnery. What's your bet?'

The Vein of Terror sama and Sasuke's left eye did a little jig together.

'Sasuke.'

'_Sasuke_.'

'Sasukeeee.' (**Author's note # 1: Sorry, I couldn't resist. This is officially my favourite Naruto quote.)**

'WHAT?'

'Where're you going?'

Sasuke made a low growling noise at the back of his throat. 'To get a DRINK because I'm thirsty, dammit.' And here Naruto knew that the Uchiha Organ of Control was slowly unraveling inside, because a Sasuke-in-the-mode would _never_ admit to a human weakness like that of thirst (because Uchihas were above human weaknesses and all that jazz.) 'Quit following me.'

'Oh,' Naruto said, and then tried to refrain himself from giggling madly. 'So does that mean,' here he failed miserably, and choked through his laughter, 'does that mean _you're going through a dry spell_?'

He was laughing so hard that he didn't notice Sasuke move before his back hit the wall. Sasuke's hands were grabbing fistfuls of Naruto's tee. Up this close, he could smell the detergent from the other boy's shirt, and his cologne.

'Lets get this clear NOW, moron,' Sasuke hissed, twisting the words with his tongue like the hilt of a dagger, and it made Naruto wonder if he had been trained by snakes. 'The next time you come to me with such _lies_, I'm going to make sure _you_ never manage to father a child.'

The Vein of Terror sama was very close. Naruto had always wanted to touch it.

So he did. He brought his hand up and pressed his forefinger flat against the protruding vessel.

Then he poked it, experimentally.

Suddenly, his fingers were batted away and Sasuke was stepping back. The look on his face made an oncoming thunderstorm turn back, dejected and insecure.

'What are you doing?' he snapped, and without waiting for a reply stormed out of the canteen, drink forgotten.

Naruto slumped back against the wall and felt heat creeping up his face. What the fuck was that right now?

Never let it be said that Naruto was slow on the uptake. Immediately, he saw the situation for what it was.

'Fuck,' he muttered to the gaping lady behind the counter.

He had a thing for The Vein of Terror sama!

*

Sakura repressed another twinge of guilt as she saw Sasuke leave the canteen with a look on his face that made all the flowers within ten meter radius wither and die.

It was painfully obvious what had happened. Only one person could turn Sasuke kun into such a gorgon.

It was stupid, Sakura knew, to blame herself for the animosity between her two teammates. Everything had transpired so long ago, they had been _kids_ for heaven's sake!

Sakura still remembered Naruto's formal proposal five years ago.

'Sakura chan,' Naruto had said, thrusting a rose forward, like a punch. 'I love you. Please marry me.'

She had made a face at him. 'No, Naruto. I like Sasuke kun. Now get out of my way, you're blocking my view of him.'

Naruto had been persistent. 'But I love you, Sakura chan. That bastard doesn't deserve you. Just look at him standing there, feeling all cool and superior. You'll be much happier with me, Sakura chan.'

Sakura had been looking. She saw Sasuke and then she saw someone who was way too cool, way too superior. Someone who she could never have.

Unless maybe…

She turned back to Naruto. 'Alright,' she said, and held her hand out for the rose.

Their relationship had lasted exactly twenty minutes. Lunch break had gotten over and Sasuke kun hadn't looked at her even once.

Sakura had tried to hold back her tears. 'I'm sorry, Naruto,' she had said, truly meaning it, 'but I can't marry you.'

Naruto had immediately switched to panic mode.

'What? Why? Did I do something wrong? Should I have made bento for you?'

'No, Naruto,' Sakura had felt awful doing this, 'I had never wanted to marry you.'

Naruto looked confused. 'Then why did you – oh.' He looked at her, the rose, and then back at her. 'I understand. You just wanted the flower, right?'

'No, no, it's not that. I'm sorry Naruto, I just thought, that maybe, if he had seen me with you, Sasuke kun would get jealous.'

Naruto's face had crumpled like butter paper and Sakura had felt like a witch in a fairy tale, instead of the princess she was supposed to be.

That afternoon she had made her way through a ring of bodies in the corridor to find Naruto and Sasuke kun rolling on the floor, trying to plummet the fillings out of each other.

They had grown up since, and in middle school Sakura had finally accepted that waiting for Sasuke was like waiting for Naruto to get over ramen. She and Naruto had become friends, and she had hoped that everything would sort itself out between the two boys as well. Especially when they all became a part of Leaf.

It had taken time, but Sakura had finally been able to understand the dynamics between her two teammates. She had to, for it had been left up to her to stabilize the misbalance, and thread together the two poles which were always on opposite sides of the field.

After all, two satellites without their orbits were bound to crash into one another, weren't they?

But Sakura wasn't stupid. She knew that her influence was only limited. She could keep the bridge up only as long as they were on stage, but beyond that, she always found her strength failing against the magnitude of their individual forces.

For Naruto was a supernova at its brightest, and Sasuke, the spawn of a black hole. It was inevitable that they were drawn towards each other.

And Sakura knew that if she actively tried to encroach their magnetic field, she would be the only one getting repelled.

*

When Naruto fell into step with Sasuke the next day, on the way back from soccer practice, when they were making their way back to the dorms, the latter didn't even spare him a glance.

'Ne, Sasuke, now I think I can understand you a little better,' Naruto said, 'I mean, all this anger – it has to be frustration.'

Beside him, Sasuke exhaled slowly.

'How does it feel?' Naruto inquired? 'To, you know, not be able to ever get off?'

'You'll experience it very soon,' Sasuked replied evenly. 'Because unless you stop following me around, I'm going to maim you.'

Hmmm, Naruto thought. Not enough, but getting there.

'Maybe you should get help, you know? Do they have shrinks who talk about sex problems?' Then he realized the sheer brilliance of his statement and let out a howl of laughter. 'Oh my God, you should totally see a _shrink_. Heh. Geddit? SHRINK?'

Sasuke looked as though someone had set a couple of five year olds on him, and they were now messing his hair.

'Yes,' he said tersely. 'Your hints are hardly the picture of subtlety. Now, get out of my way.'

Naruto hadn't even realized when he had positioned himself in front of the Uchiha. Now that he was already set for war though, he figured he might as well fire the shot.

'You can't get it up.'

'I'm not talking to you, you juvenile delinquent. MOVE.'

'OI, GUYS,' Naruto shouted to busy school grounds. 'SASUKE CAN'T GE – MMPPHHF'

Sasuke had roughly pressed his palm to Naruto mouth. '_What are you doing_?' he asked in that hissy tone.

Naruto raised his eyes to Sasuke's forehead and smiled in triumph.

'Hello, The Vein of Terror sam – chan.' He said, only to have his greeting muffled by Sasuke's hand.

'What?' Sasuke released Naruto's face, his eyes softening in confusion.

'I needed to see The Vein of Terror chan,' Naruto explained. 'You keep hiding her, and I'm trying to bring her out.'

'What the – vein – What nonsense is this?'

Naruto thought that Sasuke had the right to be a little baffled. With utmost patience, he elaborated.

'Remember when I touched your forehead yesterday?' Sasuke's eyes narrowed in response. 'I like The Vein of Terror chan. Too bad she's attached to your body, but I guess sacrifices have to be made in love.'

Sasuke looked at him for a long while. 'You should consider therapy.'

Naruto sighed. 'Look, I understand why you would think this is insane, but there's a simple explanation for it, really.'

Sasuke snorted, 'I'll bet.'

'It's like an itch. Like with those squishy water balls that kids like, the ones you just _have_ to play around with 'cause they're so squishy. You know what I'm talking about?'

'Not at all,' then, 'squishy water balls?'

Naruto sighed again. Figures. Sasuke had probably never played with squishy balls as a kid. Sasuke, he decided, had probably been one of those kids who went around winning spelling bee state championships.

'Look, just let me play around with The Vein of Terror chan for a while, and I'll get over her.'

'Do you understand what you're saying?' Sasuke asked him, incredulously. 'You're asking me if you can play around with my forehead.'

'Yes,' Naruto said, glad that Sasuke had finally caught on. 'So, can I?'

'_No_!' Sasuke turned to walk away.

'I'll just tell everyone you can't get it up then.'

Sasuke faced him again and the air particles between froze and fell like snow in December. 'Try it and you're dead.'

Naruto might have never faced a crisis in love before, but he immediately saw the situation for what it was.

Sasuke was trying to come between him and The Vein of Terror chan.

Naruto pulled on his chilliest look too, and stepped forward. 'So, is this war?'

Sasuke just rolled his eyes and walked away.

*

'The Vein of Terror chan?' Kiba asked, voice carefully neutral.

Naruto nodded dreamily. No one's forehead quite had a The Vein of Terror chan like that of Sasuke's. Except maybe Sakura chan's but her's wasn't pretty.

'You're actually being serious?' Kiba continued.

'Yup.'

Kiba raised his eyebrow at Shikamaru who ignored them both, and pretended to be busy contemplating the next move on his Shougi board. No one missed the slightest uneasy twitch of his shoulders, though.

Kiba shook his head and turned his attention back to downloading porn on Naruto's computer.

*

Naruto had finished his last paper half an hour before time, and so made a chart to keep himself busy.

Hero – Uzumaki Naruto

Heroin – The Vein of Terror chan.

Villain – Uchiha Sasuke.

Mission – Beat Sasuke. Play with The Vein of Terror chan.

Twist in the Tale – The Vein of Terror chan is on Sasuke's forehead.

Naruto frowned at the piece of paper before raising his head to study Sasuke's back. The bastard was still writing. He probably had the entire book copy pasted in his head, and was trying to cram as much of it in the paper. Nerd. Who studied for mid term tests anyway?

Meanwhile, getting to The Vein of Terror chan was proving to be a lot more difficult than Naruto had suspected. Sasuke seemed to have this knack for disappearing around the corners of the school building, and getting him alone seemed near impossible. Once he had tried to corner him in his own room only to have Sasuke throw hard cover library books at him. By the time he had stopped seeing stars, it had been too late. He had been kicked out of the room and although Naruto had spent the next one hour knocking, banging, begging and pretending to die, the door had remained unyielding.

Sasuke, Naruto decided, had _issues_.

*

Kiba was cribbing about the paper and Naruto was walking beside him, staring at the chart still. He hadn't been able to come to any sort of conclusion.

'N-Naruto kun?'

Naruto turned to the approaching girl with a smile. 'Hinata. 'Sup?'

In an instant, Kiba stopped cribbing.

Hinata ducked her head shyly. 'Naruto kun, Kakashi sensei asked sent me to tell you that you're supposed to report to the staff room. Sasuke kun and Sakura chan are already there.'

'Right,' Naruto grinned at her, and then turned to wink at Kiba. 'It's probably about the debate with Sand. I'll get going, then.'

When he arrived at the Staff room Sakura chan glared at him for being late, and Sasuke – Sasuke didn't even look at him.

'Okay,' said Kakashi. 'So now that your tests are over, you can get down to working on the debate. The topic was finalized an hour ago.'

'What is it?' Sakura asked.

Kakashi hesitated for a moment before saying, 'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.'

There was a moment of horrible silence.

'WHAT?' Naruto yelled. 'Of all the clichés –'

'Who decided this topic?' Sasuke demanded to know.

'The staff in charge of Sand, apparently, since they're hosting it this time. Though from what I've heard, Gaara really pushed for it.'

'He must have already debated on this topic before.' Sasuke said. 'It'll be an easy win for them then.'

Kakashi shook his head. 'I've already checked Sand's records – they've never dealt with this topic either. Seems like the kid was genuinely interested in it.'

'Who would've thought?' Naruto wondered out loud. 'What with that murderous intent thingy he's got going on for him.'

'It's not that surprising,' Sakura reasoned, 'he does have a tattoo that says 'Love' on his forehead after all.'

'Ask Sand to change the topic.' Sasuke said. 'It's stupid.'

Kakashi sighed. 'Look, I know. It's just that we're finally getting along with Kyoto Academy, and Tsunade thinks, and I agree, that we should do our best to adjust.'

'It's not that bad a topic, you guys,' Sakura said tentatively.

She was thoroughly ignored.

'So since they're the host school,' Kakashi continued, 'they've allowed us to choose our side of the motion.'

'For,' Naruto said.

'Against,' Sasuke said at the same time.

They glared at each other.

Sakura sighed. This was getting old.

'For is obviously the more sensible idea,' Naruto argued. 'I mean, look at the topic.'

'Against gives us the last word.'

'So you're saying we go up there and say that it is wrong to love someone, because one day you're going to lose them?'

'Yes, dobe, precisely.'

'What bullshit! It totally doesn't work that way.'

'Like you'd know.'

'At least I'm not talking like a coward.'

'Who're you calling a coward, usuratonkan-'

'Against,' Sakura said firmly.

They both stopped to look at her.

'Aww – but Sakura chan…'

'It's settled then,' Sasuke concluded. 'Tell Sand we're going against the motion.'

*

Naruto was not taking it well.

'This is ridiculous. Sakura chan, you don't seriously-'

'I don't,' Sakura confirmed, 'but you know it's best to let Sasuke have the last word, he really impresses the judges. Also, this way, we get to tear Gaara's rebuttal apart.'

'But c'mon, we're never going to be able to make this a strong enough argument.'

'Speak for yourself, dobe,' Sasuke snapped, slamming a few books down on the table. They had made their way directly to the library, anxious not to waste another minute of the two days they had left.

'Oh, yeah, what're we going to say? Ladies and Gentlemen, let us observe a moment of silence and analyze the _feelings_ of hurt and regret experienced by those who have had the misfortune of losing what they have loved – Come ON, we're not running a bloody soap opera!'

'Naruto, the judges will understand that we've got the rougher side of the motion, they're not stupid.' Sakura rubbed her eyes with the back of her fingers tiredly, and Naruto felt a stab of guilt. 'Sasuke kun, what books do we need for this topic?'

'I've selected a few for the quotes; metaphysical poets, Gustav Mahler, Oscar Wilde for cynicism. We're looking for real life examples too, cases which involve mental trauma and sickness, psychological problems and their consequences, effects of divorce on children, divorce rates in important countries – '

Naruto felt a bit sick.

'Okay,' Sakura said and rose, 'so can I take a few of these back home? I'll issue them right now. I don't live on campus, and I have to get home before dark.'

Sasuke nodded and handed a few books over to her.

Naruto thought it was ironic that after a whole week of trying to get Sasuke to himself, he was finally getting what he wanted, and The Vein of Terror chan was the last thing on his mind.

'Dobe,' he heard Sasuke say, 'you don't have to make this personal.'

Hypocrite, Naruto thought. Aloud he said, 'Just like you're not?'

Sasuke lips thinned. 'I'll take the rest of the books. You look up the net.'

'Don't tell me what to do, bastard.'

'Get the material tomorrow. We have only twenty four hours to work together.'

'I _said_-'

Sasuke was gone.

The fucking –

Naruto ran after him.

*

It had started raining outside; cool Autumn rain, fresh and rare. Naruto spotted Sasuke walking past the basketball courts. He jogged up to him.

'Don't just walk away from me, bastard. I wasn't done.'

Sasuke snorted. 'And I'm supposed to care?'

Naruto looked at him silently. _Would it kill you to?_

Sasuke's bangs were plastered to his forehead, and drops of rain were trailing paths down his temples, cheekbones, nose, mouth, disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt, their route lost to Naruto's eyes.

He was holding his bag close to him, fingers splayed on the cloth protectively, trying to shield it from the full impact of the rain.

Right now, Naruto hated the sight of those fingers. Fucking deceptive pieces of shit. How could they pretend to care about a school bag? It was just.

Naruto snatched the bag out of Sasuke's grip and threw it across the nearest court.

Not.

Sasuke looked dumbfounded. 'What the-'

Naruto punched him.

Right.

For a second, the world seemed to freeze, and there was nothing but the rain and Sasuke gaping up at him.

And then Sasuke was hitting him back, and again, it was so fucking ironic that it was only when Sasuke was punching the breath out him, that he remembered how to breathe.

He planted an answering fist into Sasuke's ribs, lips curving as he heard the hiss of pain.

This. Naruto had missed this; the dust, the taste of copper in his mouth, the feel of the hard ground beneath them – this was familiar territory, and with regards to Sasuke, maybe more familiar than any pulpit would ever be.

Sasuke managed to push Naruto flat on his back and pin his arms down on either side of his head.

'You're being way too melodramatic about this, idiot,' He spat.

Naruto snarled, and moved his body the only way he could. He jerked his head forward to smash his face into Sasuke's.

And smash he did, only not in the way he had in mind.

In the next three seconds Naruto became extremely aware of many things.

He realized that though the impact had been hard, so hard that his head was still ringing from it, Sasuke's lower lip and eyelashes were the softest things he had ever felt. He realized that up this close, Sasuke's eyes had nothing but depth, as opposed to the brittleness of his own bright blue ones. He realized that Sasuke's body was all hard angles and planes when pressed down against his like this, and it was all Naruto could do not to press back just to see if they fit into the angles of his own body.

He also realized that Temari was wrong, very wrong. Sasuke could definitely get it up, and 'It' was currently pressing very persistently into Naruto's thigh.

He let out a long shaky breath against Sasuke's mouth, and thought for one terrifying moment that this was the closest he had ever come to love; feeding somebody his own air.

Then he was being shoved back, his body reacting violently to the shock of losing the warmth and the closeness. For a moment, Naruto could sympathize with Sasuke's ideas. Loss was terrible.

But so was the look of abject terror on Sasuke's face as he raced across the court to pick up his soaking bag, and stride towards the dorms, shoulders tensed, back straight. The loss was worth it, because love always came back.

At least, it did, if Naruto had anything to do with it.

Because for the first time, as he sat in the haze of the pounding rain, his head spinning and his mouth tingling in spite of cold, cold water, he managed to truly understand the situation for what it was.

'Shit,' he said.

*

There was music blaring from the speakers in his room when Naruto entered, and Kiba was laughing as Chouji choked out a piece of foil. Sometimes, he absently consumed the wrappers along with his chocolates. He stopped when he saw Naruto.

'Jesus Christ, what were you, sleeping in the rain?'

Naruto collapsed onto his bed. 'I kissed Sasuke.'

No one said anything for a moment, and then Naruto heard the music being turned off. He figured Shikamaru had been in the room too, because he was the only one capable of digesting shockwaves fast enough to actually to act on them.

Then he heard Kiba ask, tentatively. 'And?'

'And I want to do it again,' Naruto admitted. 'Intentionally, this time. And for more than three seconds.'

Shikamaru said, 'Well, about time too.'

'He realized it! Oh god, he realized it, and I'm still only seventeen,' Kiba cried. 'This, it's EPIC! Shika, you're a genius.'

Chouji asked, very quietly, 'Does Sasuke want to, as well?'

In spite of himself, the cold, and the remnants of the numbing shock, Naruto smiled.

'He'll want to.'

*


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto didn't get much time to talk to Sasuke over the next two days, though definitely not for a lack of trying on his own part.

Sasuke in defense mode was a terrible, terrible thing. He glared at grandmothers and infants alike, sneered at puppies, flowers, stationery, Naruto, the sky, Naruto's hair, food (except tomatoes), Naruto's orange shirt, books, and human beings in general. He studiously ignored anything that wasn't related to debate, and treated the world around him with a sieve: All Naruto particles were to be kept out, while the rest of the three dimensions gleefully trickled in.

They worked on the debate twenty four into seven, breaking only for meals. The moment Sakura chan left the campus, though, Sasuke turned tail and disappeared so quickly that Naruto started to wonder if his leaking libido had begun emitting odors or anything as scandalous as that.

So Naruto thought that it was perfectly justified when he dug himself a hole in Kiba's favourite armchair the night before they left for Kyoto, and refused to budge, even when Kiba threatened to do unspeakable things to his backside with a compass.

'He won't talk to me.'

'So you're giving up?' Kiba asked, surprise colouring his tone.

Naruto looked at him as though he had grown an extra head. 'Don't be stupid, of course not!'

'Then get your paws OFF my chair!'

Naruto dismissed this. 'What would you do if you were me?'

'Get off my friend's chair?'

'Nooooo, seriously.'

Kiba sat down on his bed, grumbling. 'One, I wouldn't be you, it would be too traumatic. Two, I dunno, jump off the nearest bridge, I suppose.'

Naruto scowled at him.

'Look, I don't know, okay? It's difficult to think gay when I've got it bad for a girl!'

Naruto looked at him curiously. 'Wha – Who told you to think gay?'

Kiba's brow wrinkled in confusion. 'So is this Chouji's love life we're discussing? More importantly, are we discussing love lives? What're you doing to me, you monster, and GET YOUR ASS OFF MY CHAIR!!!!'

'I'm not gay,' Naruto informed him.

Kiba just looked at him.

'How can I be gay? I like girls.'

'Unless Uchiha's been hiding something down there none of us have any clue about,' Kiba said, smirking slightly, 'You're gay.'

Naruto was too ruffled by this sudden piece of information to bother to kick at Kiba's ankles. It was true that he had always like girls; Sakura chan, the figures in Kiba's porno magazines, The Vein of Terror chan. Sasuke was an exception, but so what? Sasuke was _pretty_, so it obviously didn't count.

It didn't mean – it couldn't – If he was gay, wouldn't he be the first person to know?

He voiced his thoughts.

'If I were gay, wouldn't I be the first person to know?'

Kiba laughed so hard that for the next fifteen minutes he forgot to reclaim his conquered furniture.

*

He was still in deep contemplation of his sexuality the next morning as Iruka drove him, Sasuke and Kakashi sensei to the station. It was still dark outside, but that was nothing compared to the state of eternal midnight in Naruto's heart.

His friends, Naruto thought, had made it their sole purpose in life to make a mockery out of him. They were bad friends. B-A-D, bad! Horrible.

He was gay? Everyone _knew_? HOW DID EVERYONE KNOW? _HE_ HADN'T KNOWN!!

Naruto was manly! MANLY, DAMMIT! So manly, that he had had no inkling of the fact himself.

Needless to say, after the enlightening conversation with Kiba, Naruto had panicked…slightly. In other words he had proceeded to confirm the newfound truth with everyone he had ever had contact with.

'You mean to say,' Ino had asked incredulously, 'that you didn't _know_?'

Naruto had scowled into the mouthpiece. 'Why does everyone keep saying that?'

'Naruto, because, come on, how could you not have known? Hang on, Neji's asking if you'd like to borrow his _Linda Goodman; Love signs_. He says that it might help.'

'Tell him to go stuff himse – Wait, Neji reads Linda Goodman?'

Ino sighed. 'He swears by it. Thankfully, we're compatible.'

'How come nobody realizes Sasuke's gay?' Naruto asked, heatedly. 'I mean, I'm obviously manlier!'

Ino had hung up.

Naruto would never fathom the workings of a female mind. How could you date somebody and still retain your position as the President of The Official Uchiha Sasuke Fanclub? Women!

He had always hated complications. Maybe that's why he was gay. That seemed logical.

Except, Naruto couldn't help thinking, Sasuke was the biggest complication life had thrown him headfirst into.

The other boy was asleep, his head resting against the glass of the window. Naruto had tried, about ten minutes earlier, to sneakily shift towards him and jostle him slightly, so that Sasuke's head would fall on his shoulder, and everything would be nice and cozy from there on, but it had only resulted in Sasuke waking up, and corroding his visions of a happily snuggling couple with a venomous glare.

In the rear view mirror were two crescents. One was the rapidly fading moon and the other, Kakashi's smiling eye. Naruto stuck his tongue out at the latter.

He was bi. Or Sasuke sexual. It didn't really matter, because when Sasuke was sleeping, he was cuuuute!

The part of Naruto's brain which wasn't going kawaiikawaiiDON'TGLOMPhe'llKillyou!!! resolved that he was going to make watching Sasuke sleep a permanent feature in his life.

Which also sounded slightly creepy, but whatever. Sasuke was pretty creepy when he went around hissing at everyone like a snake, so he was just returning the favour.

Harsh white light flooded into the car, like a sheet, and Naruto realized that they had reached the station. Seizing the opportunity, he placed a palm on Sasuke's shoulder, the edge of his thumb lightly grazing the soft stretch of skin on the collarbone; shook him gently.

'Boo!' he whispered into Sasuke's ear, grinning. 'The Heartless (1) are behind us!'

Sasuke stirred, blinked, and jerked away from Naruto.

Sakura was already there, waiting on the platform with her father. She waved when she saw them coming.

'I'm getting a drink,' Sasuke muttered before walking off.

Sakura frowned at his retreating back before turning to Naruto. 'So, congratulations on your discovery,' she said, smiling. Sakura had been the first person Naruto had thought to consult, after Shikamaru and Chouji. 'About time too.'

'Heh,' Naruto scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, and Sakura's expression turned thoughtful. 'So, is that the reason Sasuke's been so high strung lately?'

'Sasuke was born high strung, he can't help it. It's that hockey stick he's got lodging in his ass,' Naruto replied automatically. 'Though yeah, probably.'

'What did you do?'

'I,' Naruto considered all the physical damage he was risking for a moment, before plunging in anyhow, 'kissed him.'

Sakura seemed to choke on her own tongue. 'You…Sasuke, you?

'Now he's pretending that I don't exist.'

Sakura face had turned slightly pink. 'Oh. Okay. Ahem. So how was it?'

'The kiss? I don't remember.'

'WHAT? Naruto, you imbecile –'

'Look, it lasted three seconds! And it was a complete accident anyway. And I was too shocked to register much. That's why I want to do it again, to remember!'

Sakura arched an unsympathetic eyebrow. 'So you want to kiss him just so you remember what the other kiss felt like?'

'Yes, but only the first time. Then I want to kiss him because I want to. Then I'll kiss him again to piss him off. Then I'll –'

Kiss him because I can.

Sakura turned away grumbling about the injustice of it all, but all the same, she looked slightly mollified.

*

But the kissing would have to wait because Sasuke was being as coorporative as a triple knot.

As soon as the train started moving, he pushed his seat back and dozed off again.

Naruto was a hundred percent sure that the bastard was pretending.

He considered drawing a moustache on him, or writing 'Property of Uzumaki Naruto' on his forehead, but then decided that his chances of ever kissing Sasuke again would probably lessen considerably if he were, you know, dead.

Not to mention his chances of doing other things to Sasuke.

Unless…did Sasuke have a ghost kink? Naruto's gaze fell on the other boy thoughtfully.

So he waited until Sakura had fallen asleep on his other side, before poking Sasuke's forearm.

'Hey, bastard,' he whispered, 'Stop pretending to sleep.'

No change in expression.

Poke. 'I have a tomatooooooo.'

No change in expression. Sasuke, Naruto thought, would make a great dead body on the sets of Japanese drama.

Poke. 'I was wondering, teme, but do you have a ghost kink?'

AHA! Sasuke's eyebrow twitched!

Poke. 'You can tell me, you know.' Poke. 'About your fetishes, I mean. Then I'll tell you mine. I've heard (poke) that a pre sex discussion does wonders for a person's sex life.' Poke.

The Vein of Terror chan made a rapid appearance, and Naruto waved at her, gleefully.

Poke, 'I can even talk dirty, if you want.'

Then all talking stopped as Naruto's finger was twisted, brutally. Naruto screeched.

'Sasuke, stop! Shit, someone save me! SASUKE, YOU JERK, YOU NEED MY FINGERS INTACT FOR WHEN WE – AAAARRRRGGHHHHH!'

Wrong thing to say because Sasuke showed all the mercy of a hungry T-Rex.

Later, when Naruto looked at him, Sasuke was pretending to be asleep again.

Though this time, he had a slight smirk tilting the corners of his mouth.

'Drama queen!' he muttered, before wincing as a very disgruntled, wide awake Sakura punched his head.

*

They reached Kyoto in the evening. A brown haired boy, who introduced himself as the president of the Student Council, was present to greet them at the station.

'We were originally going to provide you with accommodation on the campus,' he said, apologetically, 'but there's been some problem with the…pipes. So we're putting you up at a guest house five minutes from the Academy, and we will do everything to ensure that you are comfortable.'

'Has Sound been invited too? To watch the debate?' Sakura asked.

'They had to turn down our invitation because they are having their exams this week.'

'Right.'

The guest house was very comfortable. There was only one problem.

'Three rooms?' Sasuke asked through clenched teeth, after the boy had left. 'Do we look like three people?'

'Hmm, I'm turning in. Got a lot of sleep to catch up on.' Kakashi yawned.

'What bullshit, you slept the entire journey.'

'Well, tomorrow's a big day,' Kakashi grabbed his key from the counter. 'G'nite, boys, Sakura.'

Then he was gone. Naruto could almost hear Kakashi's mental chuckles reverberating through the walls.

'Well I suppose we had better practice one more time,' Sakura spoke into the silence that followed. 'That guy said we could ask for dinner anytime we wanted, so I guess we'll just have to give the reception a ring.'

Naruto's stomach agreed with her logic. Sasuke grabbed their room key and stalked away.

They practiced till eleven, after which Sakura's head began to loll forward miserably, and they all decided to turn in for the day. Without a word, Sasuke grabbed his pajamas and shut himself up in the bathroom.

'Don't do anything stupid,' Sakura whispered fiercely before closing the door behind her.

The sound of the running shower made Naruto's throat run dry.

He was going to sleep on the same bed with Sasuke.

He was gay and he was going to sleep on the same bed with Sasuke, who was also gay.

At least, that's how Naruto presumed things went. Hadn't he given Sasuke a hard on? To simplify things down Naruto did a quick calculation in his own head.

Naruto gave Sasuke a hard on = Gay!Sasuke

OH MY GOD, he was _gay_ (proof: all his friends, and also the fact that he liked Sasuke) and he was going to sleep on the same bed with Sasuke, who was also _gay_ (proof: Naruto induced hard on)!!!

Naruto's heart started doing the hula.

What should he do? Naruto wondered if he should start making the bed, or would that seem too obvious? And eager? Oh wait, if the train journey hadn't already made his intentions clear as crystal then he didn't know what would.

Naruto tested the mattress a little. It seemed fine.

_But would fine do?_ They were, were they not, teenage boys with _volcanoes_ of stamina?

Rawr

So Naruto bounced on the mattress. Once, twice.

The bathroom door opened and Sasuke walked into the room in his pajamas, hair still damp from the shower.

'What are you doing?' he asked suspiciously.

'…guh?' Naruto inquired, hearing considerably dulled by the blood rushing past his ears.

'Never mind,' Sasuke walked up to the bed and hesitated. Then, very slowly, as if the bed might explode any minute, he lifted the bedsheet and slid inside.

Naruto's brain was melting. Sasuke in Pajamas! Sasuke in pajamas in bed! Should he make the first move? Would Sasuke kill him?

No, Sasuke wouldn't kill him. He was needed for the debate.

Would Sasuke kill him after the debate then? Was the sex worth dying for?

What if Sasuke was very _bad_ in bed? His trial with Temari had been a disaster, hadn't it?

But Naruto had given Sasuke a hard on! Sasuke probably wanted Naruto to come on to him!

Naruto was a virgin, not an idiot. So he immediately saw the situation for what it was.

Sasuke was playing hard to get!

Very convinced, Naruto nodded to himself and edged closer to Sasuke.

Sasuke looked at him inquiringly. Then Sasuke _sniffed_.

Naruto was _flying_! It was beautiful! There was soft golden light and pleasantly cool air whipping past his face, and this was probably heaven because-

He hit the floor with a yowl.

What the _fuck_?

Naruto looked at the beautiful madman before him in rage. 'You!' he yelled, pointing a finger at his attacker. 'You _kicked_ me!'

Sasuke looked down at him imperiously. 'You stink. Go take a shower.'

'So you kicked me? You couldn't act like an Earthman for once and simply tell me?'

'This was more efficient. You're no longer on the bed _and_ you're one step closer to the bathroom. Go take a shower.'

'Don't tell me what to do, you retard. I don't believe you just –'

Then divine inspiration struck Naruto like lightening strikes trees. He immediately saw the situation for what it was.

Sasuke wanted him clean!

And why would Sasuke want him clean?

Naruto's brain was a happy, happy puddle of goo.

Somewhere amidst the birds and the bees, he saw Sasuke frowning at him.

'What're you looking so happy for?'

Naruto gave him a knowing smirk. 'Like you don't know, Sasuke,' he said before waltzing into bathroom, and slamming the door behind him.

Because, well, Sasuke slammed things all the time, and Naruto had decided to find it sexy.

He scrubbed thoroughly. Naruto knew Sasuke. The guy used _paper napkins_ after his meals, for heaven's sake. He'd probably go OCD during sex too.

Then Naruto let himself get distracted by scenarios which involved him teaching Sasuke how to get down and dirrrty for too long, and the shower ran cold.

Though by then, he needed it.

*

Sasuke was going through their notes in the room. He looked up as Naruto entered.

'I've got another point for you, cram it in before the conclusion-'

'I've been thinking,' Naruto interrupted him.

'So where are the injuries?' Sasuke asked, an eyebrow quirked.

God, didn't Sasuke know anything about setting the _mood_?

'So I've been thinking,' Naruto continued, ignoring the poor bastard who probably didn't know any better. 'And I came to the conclusion that there's a lot of tension between us.' He waved his hand between the two of them, leaving no room for confusion.

Sasuke stared at him impassively.

'_Sexual_ tension,' Naruto clarified, to remove any doubt which might have arisen.

'….'

'And you know what they say about sexual tension don't you?'

When Sasuke remained as responsive as a pillar, Naruto answered his own question.

'Get rid of it!'

A one thousand, seven hundred and eighty pages Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary crashed into his face with the vengeance of a father bull.

Naruto remembered thanking God for letting it be a soft cover one this time.

Then the world went black.

*

When Naruto came to, it was dark.

What happened?

A bull, no a book, no – _Sasuke._

Sasuke had tried to murder him! The object of his affections had attacked him with a dictionary! Naruto wanted to cry.

Then a voice said, 'you're awake,' and something cold touched the side of his face.

Naruto's blood froze.

'Where have you brought me?' he demanded. Only his voice came out croaky. 'Why can't I see anything? Have you blindfolded me?'

Hell, had the circumstances been different, he might have even thought this was sexy! Those would be the circumstances under which his face wouldn't feel like it was about to fall off.

He heard Sasuke sigh, and finally realized what the cold thing was - ice. 'No you idiot, I've turned off the light. You would've found it too harsh. And I've brought you to the bed.'

'You tried to kill me!' Naruto accused.

'You were supposed to _dodge_!' Sasuke retaliated.

Naruto recognized that tone. It was the tone Sasuke used to put up a self righteous front whenever he was getting cornered by an opponent.

'How many hours have I been out for?' he asked, trying to rub the guilt in.

'Eight minutes.'

Oh. That didn't sound so exciting. Sakura chan wouldn't even be impressed.

Naruto sniffed, 'that doesn't make what you did right, asshole.'

He heard Sasuke make a frustrated noise. 'I know, you idiot, I know! I just,' Naruto winced as the ice was jabbed into a tender cheekbone, 'do you _have_ to go around making sick jokes like that all the time?'

Quietly, Naruto said, 'I wasn't joking.'

Sasuke stilled. Naruto felt the ice melting against his cheekbone, a trail of cold water streaming down the side of his face. He felt a brain freeze coming, but he didn't complain, because Sasuke's fingers were right _there_, five pinpricks of heat, like a narrow beam of sunlight after a blizzard.

How were his fingers even warm, when he had been holding the ice for the past eight minutes? Then Naruto realized that Sasuke had been switching hands. Stupid logic. Sasuke couldn't even panic like a normal person.

Then the ice was gone and Sasuke's fingers were still there, light against his swollen skin; there because _Sasuke_ had allowed them to remain there, because this was probably Sasuke's spastic way of saying that he was sorry.

And Naruto knew it was pathetic, but it made his chest feel warm.

Because he sort of understood where Sasuke was coming from. Sasuke was scared. Naruto could get that. Naruto could forgive that.

So he closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, which was his spastic way of saying that it's okay.

It lasted for about four seconds, and then Sasuke was pulling his hand back.

'We need to get you checked up. You might have got a concussion,' he said, tone crisp. 'The debate starts at twelve, so we'll take you to Kyoto's infirmary straight after breakfast.'

Naruto found himself smiling, 'Why, Sasuke, are you worried about me?'

Sasuke snorted, but Naruto thought that it sounded weak. 'I'm worried about the debate. We can't have you go up on stage and blank out.'

'I'm fine, we don't need to go to the infirmary.'

'Shut up. We're going.'

Naruto snickered, 'you're totally worried about me.'

Sasuke huffed and got out off bed.

'Where're you going?'

'To draw the curtains, its pitch black in here.'

A moment later the room was flooded in silver moonlight. Naruto turned his face to Sasuke when the other boy climbed back onto the bed.

'Sasuke,' he said, 'maybe you should check my eyes.'

Sasuke looked at him blankly. 'What?'

'See if my pupils are the right size. They do that when checking for concussions.'

'I'll need torchlight for that, moron.'

'Sasukeeee, just check already!'

Sasuke sent him a look of extreme suspicion before closing in and peering into Naruto's eyes. Naruto held his gaze steady for a second.

Then he punched him. Hard.

'What the –'

'Now we're even, bastard,' Naruto told him, grin feral.

Sasuke looked as though he was having a hard time restraining himself from inflicting more damage on Naruto's being.

'You really shouldn't be so violent, Sasuke,' Naruto said, impetuously. 'God, after we get married, you'll be such a wife beater.'

Sasuke was silent for a moment, before he said, very precisely, 'dobe, do you realize you just referred to yourself as the wife?'

Naruto's jaw dropped. 'I did not! I didn't mean it like that.'

'You did.'

'I didn't! I'm way more manly! And I wasn't the one sobbing over my immobile body just a few minutes ago.'

'Sobbing over your – you must be concussed if you're having such delusions.

'Delusions, my foot. You even fight like a girl SasUKE, I mean – you _throw_ things.'

'Didn't you say you wanted to be a ninja? From what I've heard, ninjas throw things all the time.'

Naruto gasped at the audacity of the bastard, 'Oh, DON'T even imagine for a SECOND that you would make a better ninja than me, you asswipe!'

'It wouldn't be difficult to be a better ninja than you, dobe, you couldn't even dodge a dictionary.'

'That was _different_!

'I'm sure it was,' Sasuke said dryly. 'Goodnight, idiot.'

Naruto sulked for a full minute before it dawned on him that Sasuke hadn't actually said anything against the marriage bit.

Naruto might be an amateur when it came to matters of the heart, but he wasn't an amateur enough to miss a hint when it was doing the mambo right under his nose. He immediately saw the situation for what it was.

Sasuke had left him an opening!

'….so,' Naruto said, getting straight to the point, 'wanna have sex now?'

Sasuke threw a pillow at him.

The nut, Naruto thought, was cracking.

*

Naruto woke up in the middle of the night to find that he had rolled onto his side, and apparently, so had Sasuke. They were close, so close that Naruto could feel Sasuke's breath on his jaw, and despite its warmth, he shivered.

Sasuke in his sleep was amazingly peaceful to look at, and it reminded Naruto of all his reasons for wanting to break down the walls that surrounded the boy. Sasuke's mouth was turned up, and his eyelashes caught the moonlight, like a web; with a smile Naruto recalled their softness.

When the world spun for Naruto, it spun around people – important people, people who he would trade his life for. Naruto had their faces etched on the back of his eyelids, like a precious photograph a soldier might carry of his daughter, tucked away with nothing but a layer of skin separating it from his heart.

There had been a time when he had been alone and scared, and had thought that it was okay to stay that way, because wasn't it better than being afraid of everyone moving forward and leaving him behind all the time?

If his parents could have done that, what guarantee did he have that others wouldn't?

But then he had met people who accepted him, loved him even, taught him that it was okay to move along with the others. There was no guarantee that they'd stick around forever, and so it was okay to be scared, really, because if you thought about it, they were scared about you too. So it was all even.

So Naruto had accepted fear as a part of the game there was just no getting rid of. He understood it, so he understood Sasuke.

For someone whose brother had been arrested for murdering their entire family, Sasuke handled the fear thing pretty well.

Except when he snapped and started throwing dictionaries.

So even though Naruto understood Sasuke's fear of loss, he also thought it to be extremely stupid.

Because if he had learnt anything, it was that if you let your fears rule you, you've already lost the game.

Naruto lay absolutely still, breathing the same air as Sasuke, and thought, _please stop running away_.

Because even though Naruto was ready to chase him for the rest of their lives, think of all the sex they'd be missing out on!

Smiling a little more, Naruto raised his arm, and very carefully, brought it down to rest on Sasuke's waist.

*

The next morning Naruto woke up to the feeling of fingers being dug into his ribs. Because there were fingers digging into his ribs.

'Dobe, let _go_,' came a muffled voice from somewhere around the vicinity of his chest.

He released his hold on what his sleep fuzzed brain registered was definitely not a pillow. Immediately, Sasuke scrambled away, glaring at Naruto. He would have looked a bit more threatening, had his face not been the colour of a tomato.

'Good morning,' Naruto said, stretching lazily, and smiling. 'You're cute when you blush.'

'I'm not blushing,' Sasuke snapped, 'I was simply asphyxiated.'

Even as he said that, Naruto noticed, his eyes swiped a quick trail down Naruto's body. He grinned, and then promptly winced as the right half of his face gave a violent throb.

Sasuke, instead of looking guilty, smiled smugly. The _asshole_!

Sakura chan did a double take when she saw Naruto's face. Naruto wasn't surprised, he had done one too when he had looked into the mirror that morning to find that his face had acquired the colouring of different latitudinal zones. Kakashi had merely raised his eyebrow at Sasuke, who turned away from all them and immersed himself into the task of finishing his toast.

Naruto liked toast. He liked Sasuke's mouth. There were a few crumbs of toast which had accumulated at the corners of Sasuke's mouth.

As far as Naruto was concerned, that in itself was a breakfast fit for a king.

Then the mouth spoke to him.

'Huh?' he said brightly.

Sasuke let out an exasperated breath although, Naruto noticed, he coloured slightly. 'I said, we have to go for your check up after this.'

'Oh. Right, yeah. You're blushing again.'

Sakura choked into her cereal, and Kakashi brought his newspaper up so that it would cover his face.

For a moment Sasuke went as rigid as the chair he was sitting on. Then he looked, very pointedly, at the butter knife that lay between them on the table.

Naruto immediately stopped grinning. The butter knife might not have been made to kill, but Naruto knew from experience that Sasuke was very creative when it came to causing pain.

*

The check up had revealed that he was as right as rain.

Naruto wished that it would rain.

The last time it had rained, he had gotten to kiss Sasuke.

He wished that he could kiss Sasuke.

Sasuke. Mmm, pretty…

Sakura jabbed him hard in the ribs. 'Stop spacing out, idiot, and start taking notes.'

And Naruto was brought back to the debate.

Usually Naruto had no problems staying awake during debates. As a matter of fact he liked finding faults in his opponents' speeches, taking notes on them and passing them down to Sasuke to use during the rebuttal.

But today. Today Gaara had spent the past six minutes elaborating upon the joys of maternal love, and Naruto couldn't seem to be able to keep his mind from wondering anymore.

The timer had gone off twice already. Why wasn't this guy stopping?

In fact, Naruto noticed, that there seemed to be something terribly wrong with the redhead today. Three minutes into the speech, and he had stopped debating and started babbling.

Gaara was speaking like someone possessed, and cracking under emotion. It was painful to watch.

Naruto turned his face to where Temari and Kankarou were sitting and caught identical looks of horror on their faces.

'What the hell's happening here?' he wondered out loud.

Sakura looked at him sadly. 'This is bad. I had a cousin in Kyoto who once told me about a rumor she had heard. Gaara's mom committed suicide when he was a kid. The rumor is… that she had tried to take him with her.'

Naruto gaped. 'Gaara? Why the hell?'

Sakura turned to the podium where Gaara was still speaking while gesturing wildly with his arms. 'They say she had turned insane. Something to do with the father.'

Naruto processed this information in shock. Here he was, trying to act the hero in his own little world, while there were people out there, dying a little more each day that they lived.

The world was not small. It was not limited to the sketches at the back of Naruto's eyelids.

For the first time in his life it occurred to Naruto that sometimes, even he wouldn't be able to save the day.

Then he saw Sasuke's hand, unmoving, clenching a pen so hard that the knuckles had turned white. His body looked as though it had been coiled to the point of snapping.

_Oh_, he thought, _but today I can, right?_

He tore a piece of paper, drew a smiley on it, and scribbled _Have I ever told that you look awfully sexy in those jeans?_

Then he flipped the paper over and passed it on to Sasuke.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as Sasuke read it, threw Naruto a glare, and bent down to scribble something back.

A few seconds later Sakura was pushing the paper into Naruto's hand.

_Shut up, dobe, and concentrate on the debate._

Naruto grinned and wrote _You're blushing again. That's sexy too, you know. Though you'll never be as sexy as The Vein of Terror chan. Hehe. But no need for jealousy, MUNCHKIN, I'm all yours._

Naruto mentally gave a sigh of relief as Sasuke finally, _finally_, switched Gaara off and focused his attention on trying to glare Naruto into an alternate universe.

As he stuck his tongue out at Sasuke, Naruto thought that what the hell, even Superman could be defeated by Kryptonite, and Robin always fell for the bad girls. Who set down rules for superheroes anyway?

Besides, he was a ninja.

*

Leaf won the debate, and Naruto was announced the best speaker of the day.

He traced the swell of the metal with the pad of his thumb and wished for a moment that he could return the cup. The trophy felt cold and unwelcome in his hands, like a spoon when he wanted to eat ramen.

Over its massive rim he saw Temari approaching him.

'You got what you wanted,' she said, with a half smile.

_Have I_, Naruto wondered.

He mustered a smile, 'Yeah,' he said brightly, 'I never give up on the things I want.'

He glanced over at Sasuke who was talking to one of the judges.

Temari touched a finger to the base of the trophy. 'Massive, isn't it?'

Naruto watched her for a second, before quickly making up his mind.

'Where's Gaara?'

Temari looked at him in surprise, 'He went out. Did you want to talk to him?'

'No, I just,' he circled a fist around the stem of the cup and held it out to her. 'Give this to him.'

Temari gaped at him. 'What?'

Naruto smiled at her, a genuine one this time. 'He was the only one who didn't go up on stage today, and lie through his teeth, so I'd say he deserves this.'

'But this…you said you wanted this.'

'Yeah,' Naruto grinned, stretching his arms over his head, feeling strangely light all of a sudden. 'I'll get it next year too, don't worry.'

Slowly, Temari began to smile, 'Don't get so cocky, runt, next year we're kicking your ass.'

'Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't get your hopes up.'

Temari picked up the trophy carefully, and with one last smile, she began to walk away.

Naruto called out to her, 'Oh, and Temari,' he smirked at her when she turned back, face inquiring, 'The thing with Sasuke? That was totally a special case scenario.'

*

They had taken the night train back.

Naruto had decided to feel very sleepy.

He had also decided that enough time had been wasted in idle talk. The time had come for direct action. Wear a red tea cozy and take the bull by its horns.

So he had (in his sleep, of course) let his head fall on Sasuke's shoulder.

Immediately to have it jerked off.

But Jiraiya had not brought Naruto up to be a quitter. He tried it again.

Around about the fifth try, it had started to resemble a really robotic dance.

Finally Sasuke had hissed, '_dobe_!'

Naruto's shock was as great as the heavens! How had Sasuke realized that he was awake? He had been acting so _well_!

Impossible! To make things all the more convincing, Naruto released a loud snore.

Beside him Sasuke snorted. 'Dobe, if you don't get off, there will be pain.'

Naruto cracked an eye open, giving up the act, 'Trust me, teme, there's nothing I want more than to get off, but I'll need your help there.'

Sasuke threw him a filthy look. 'Too bad then, you'll have to handle that yourself.'

'Alright,' Naruto waggled his eyebrows before resting his head on Sasuke's shoulder again, 'you can watch if you like.'

He heard Sasuke make an exasperated noise, 'God, do you ever give up?'

'No,' said Naruto immediately, 'Besides, you don't really want me to. You like me.'

'Your delusions worry me.' And Naruto's head was jerked off again.

By the time they had reached, it was already dawn.

Or it was supposed to be. Naruto watched in dismay as the rain pouring down from the inky sky slashed at billboards like the edges of a million angry knives. 'Who was supposed to pick us up again?'

Kakashi glanced at his watch with a worried frown, 'Iruka was. I can't get through to him.'

Sakura's father offered to try with his mobile.

After twenty minutes parading up and down the platform in hopes of getting a decent signal, Kakashi came back to them with a change of plans. Iruka had been stuck in a mini hailstorm at the other side of the city, and was not going to be able to make it.

'Calm down, Naruto,' he said to the boy struggling in Sakura's death grip as he attempted to run through the wind and the rain to get to Iruka. 'He's just five minutes away from the campus, so I told him to turn back. We'll spend the morning at Haruno san's house and then go back to school after lunch.'

Sakura's mother fussed over them with towels and breakfast till Sakura had to bodily drag her teammates out of her reach, and up the stairs to the guestroom.

'There are towels in the bathroom and if you want anymore food, the kitchen's always open. Don't tell my mom though, because she'll try to empty the entire refrigerator on you. Don't call me, I'm going to crash.' She stifled a yawn before adding, 'And I'd appreciate it if there were no murders in my guestroom. Just saying.'

Naruto turned to Sasuke, 'So do you want to shower first? Or can I go? Or can we shower togeth -'

'You go,' Sasuke walked over to the balcony door, 'Call me when you're done.'

Naruto studied the objects in the Haruno's bathroom cabinet with great suspicion. Nothing looked safe. He would actually have to _read_ the labels. Gah.

He selected anything that was not pink in colour. There hadn't been many options.

Finally, he exited the bathroom smelling of apples.

Why couldn't there be tomato scented shampoos? It would have been a piece of cake seducing Sasuke while smelling of tomatoes. What was up with these manufacturers anyway? Did they have no imagination?

He found Sasuke standing outside on the balcony. The rain had calmed down to a light drizzle, and the sky was a dull red canopy above the buildings.

'Hey,' Naruto called from the door, 'you're getting wet.'

Sasuke glanced at him before looking away again.

Naruto let out a noisy breath and walked up to the stubborn idiot. Why couldn't he have fallen for someone a little less immature? After they got married, Naruto would probably have to take care of Sasuke like mothers took care of their five year olds.

Not that he minded it. Much.

He stopped next to Sasuke and put his hands on his hips. 'Sasuke. Inside. You can brood in the room.'

Sasuke looked bemused.

'You're going to catch a cold,' Naruto elaborated.

'…'

'Now, listen to me young man –'

'You're annoying.'

Naruto glared at the ungracious bastard in front of him, 'I'm annoying? _I'm_ annoying? Well _excuse me_ for caring about your health.'

Sasuke turned a little, so that he was fully facing Naruto. 'You're extraordinarily loud.'

Naruto was about to come up with another incredibly brilliant response, but something about the other's tone stopped him. Sasuke didn't sound half as much as though he was insulting Naruto as he sounded…well, affectionate. In an exasperated way.

'Um, okay?' Naruto said, curious to see where this was going.

'And you're always in my personal space.'

Naruto bristled. 'That's not too difficult, you know, seeing as your personal space is larger than the entire northern hemisphere.'

Sasuke rolled his eyes, before focusing their intensity on a potted plant near Naruto's head. 'What I'm trying to say is …you should know that, well, having something can be a lot less exciting than the chase.'

Very slowly, and with the force of a herd of stampeding cattle, it dawned on Naruto that the magnitude of Sasuke's idiocy would probably break the Richter scale.

'Teme,' he said, very clearly. 'You're an idiot.'

Sasuke looked greatly affronted. 'Excuse me,' he said, very tightly, before taking a step towards the room.

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's sleeve and dragged his stupid, stupid bastard towards him. When he tried to pull away, Naruto reversed their positions, so that Sasuke was trapped against the railing, and Naruto was gripping his hands.

'Sasuke,' he said, softly, '_Sasuke_.'

After a second, Sasuke stopped struggling.

Naruto pressed forward and lightly touched his forehead to Sasuke's. Closed his eyes and breathed in his scent. Tried to calm his own erratic heartbeat.

When he opened his eyes, Sasuke's were very, very close.

'But the chase is never going to get over, Sasuke,' Naruto said, his voice just a breath. Everything was too new, too fragile, and it felt as though if he didn't tread carefully enough, it would all come to pieces. 'Just think. After I finally manage to get you to sleep with me, I'll try to get you to cuddle. You'll give me a few broken limbs before I manage that. _After_ that, I'll try holding your hand in public. If you cripple me, you're paying for the wheelchair. Then comes the moving in part. If you haven't killed me by then, I'll try to get you to cook me some ramen. _After_ that, I'll have to convince you to let me name our kids Ironman and Aquagirl. And after all that is achieved, there's still that maid's outfit I have to convince you to wear. So yup, the way I see it, it's going to be a long chase.'

It would have been an extremely romantic moment if not for the heel crushing Naruto's bare toes.

'Let me go, you insane plebe,' Sasuke was struggling against Naruto's hold, 'Or I'll scream rape.'

Naruto rolled his eyes. 'Do you have to make everything so difficult? Also, scream rape? You're _such_ a girl!'

Then he closed the distance between them and kissed Sasuke.

Naruto slid his lips once, twice, over Sasuke's unresponsive ones before leaning back slightly to look at him. Sasuke had gone stiff, as stiff as cardboard, and his eyes were wide and terrified.

Naruto kissed his nose, and smiled.

He waited for the slight softening of Sasuke's eyes before leaning in again.

This time, with the uncertainty of a feather floating down from the sky, Sasuke pressed back, lips yielding under Naruto's. Sasuke's lips were soft, and a little cold from the rain, but once they parted, Sasuke's mouth was nothing but a cavern of wet heat. Naruto slid his tongue in and trailed long, slow paths along the insides of Sasuke's cheeks, the roof his mouth, the length of his tongue, anxious not to miss a single crevice or fold, because if he did, he was sure that something terrible, terrible would happen.

He moved his hands in quick, successive jabs; light fleeting touches over the wet fabric of his shirt, on the shoulder plates, the backbone, down the sides, the protrusion of the hip bones, making sure that Sasuke was really there, and that yes, this was really happening, before sliding his arms around Sasuke's waist and pulling him close enough to melt against him. Sasuke's shirt was cold, but pressed up this close, Naruto could feel the body heat seeping in from underneath the cloth, fire under water, the warmth almost an undertone, like the whisper of a promise.

After what seemed like ages, Sasuke's hands came up as well; one slid through Naruto's hair, combing through the thick strands at the back, and the other wiped the water drops on his neck, rough palm smooth against his pulse, and finally came to a rest, a cup at his jaw.

Naruto couldn't recall when the kiss had turned frantic. When he thought about it later he was sure that it had been Sasuke who had turned the tables, though the brunette had denied any such thing, declaring that it was appalling how Naruto expected everyone else to follow suit just because _he_ kissed like a cave man. But before they knew it, the softness had given away to bites, and licks, and heavy panting, and Sasuke's finger nails digging into Naruto's scalp. The rain sluiced down their skin, slick and giving, lasting only a moment before it was licked away from it's puddle at the hollow of a throat or it's coating over an upper lip.

And it had definitely been Sasuke who had wrenched away for one unforgiving moment to gasp, '_bed_,' before diving in again, leaving Naruto the complicated task of having to think of a successful plan involving him, Sasuke, some skillful maneuvering, and making it to the bed without having to break the kiss for another _second_, breathing be damned.

It was a mystery how they managed it, but three minutes later saw them in a tangled heap on the bed, their clothes a wet mess on the floor.

But the world was a hard, hard place to live in, because Naruto found himself breaking the kiss again to move back and look down at Sasuke.

It was gratifying, however to hear Sasuke emit a loud groan, and shoot an annoyed glare at Naruto.

'Sasuke,' Naruto said, trying to get his breathing even, and failing utterly, 'listen to me. This, this is it. We're doing this. We can't take it back afterwards, okay? Because I won't be ready to forget it, even if you want to.'

He held his breath as Sasuke's frown grew deeper.

'Fine,' he finally snapped. 'But just so you know, I don't do cuddles.'

Naruto's breath left him in a relieved puff of laughter, 'Alright, we shall then indulge in some manly hugging.'

Before he could come up with another scathing remark, he bent down and planted a big, sloppy kiss on Sasuke's lips.

Then he swept his gaze down Sasuke's (very) naked body.

That was when Uzumaki Naruto's brain died.

'What are you doing dobe? Get back here,' He heard through the _hubba hubbas_ in his head, before he was jerked down by a fistful of hair, and Sasuke was kissing him again, hard and insistent, all traces of previous uncertainty forgotten.

Naruto regretfully left Sasuke's mouth, kissed his eyelids, nose, forehead and temples. The Vein of Terror chan was in hiding again, and for a second Naruto contemplated making Sasuke deliberately angry during sex just so he could lean in and lick her.

Or would that make him unfaithful?

Shaking his head free of thoughts which didn't even make sense anymore, Naruto transferred his attention to Sasuke's neck. He kissed the jaw, traced his open mouth over the pulse, before biting down on a shoulder, smiling as he heard Sasuke try and fail to stifle a moan.

Naruto put his inexperience to good use, biting and licking, and repeating the action whenever he heard Sasuke make one of _those_ noises, the kind that made all the blood rush straight down to his groin. He licked a wet path down Sasuke's chest, pausing only to tease lightly at the nipples with his teeth, before continuing his journey southwards. Finally, he found himself nuzzling the soft inside of a thigh, face level with Sasuke's very painful looking erection.

Hah, Take that Temari!

Very carefully, he bent down to lick at the pre cum pooling at the head.

Sasuke jerked so violently, that the bed gave a dangerous creak.

They had to use lotion (Sasuke said they did, Naruto had had no idea) because the only alternative was foot cream, and they had both come to the conclusion that they liked their bits a little too much to expose them to that sort of experimentation. Naruto had sat between Sasuke's legs, warily eyeing the bottle of body cocoon before Sasuke had finally snapped.

'Dobe, your _fingers_. Use the lotion. You have to prepare me.'

Oh.

It had been weird at first. Putting his fingers up other people's ass was not something Naruto did on a daily basis, and if he were to be honest with himself, Sasuke didn't look much like he was having a good time either. Wasn't it supposed to be a bit more pleasurable? It had to be, gay people had lots of sex, didn't they? Why would they, if they didn't like it?

So Naruto decided to experiment. Fifteen seconds into the experimentation, Sasuke's back arched up like a bow, and he screamed so loudly, that Naruto had to use his other hand to cover his mouth.

_So that's why_.

'Ne, Sasuke,' he said, snickering, 'So is this your _G-spot_?'

Sasuke's masculinity was established a second later when a heel with connected with Naruto's spine. Hard.

Taking that as a sign that Sasuke was more than prepared, Naruto coated his cock with liberal amounts of lotion before bracing himself with his hands on Sasuke's hipbones, and carefully easing himself in.

Then there was nothing but heat, and for a long, long moment, Naruto forgot to breathe.

'Naruto,' he heard Sasuke say below him, 'God, _move_!'

So he did, and the white, blinding heat was more intense and overpowering than anything Naruto had ever felt in his entire life - but that was only till Sasuke opened his eyes and looked directly into his, after which it was explosive.

He fisted his hand around the length of Sasuke's cock, and three hard, successsive strokes were all it took.

Sasuke's face twisted, obscene and beautiful, and he said, '_Naruto_.'

And Naruto didn't last a second after that.

*

Later, Naruto turned his face into Sasuke's neck and asked, 'Alright?'

Sasuke gave him a small smile. 'Hn.'

Naruto grinned, before raising himself on one elbow and leaning in to kiss Sasuke's cheek. Because he wanted to. Then, when Sasuke wrinkled his nose and made an annoyed sound at the back of his throat, he kissed his eyelashes, just to piss him off.

Naruto marveled at the way they fluttered, just like the wings of a butterfly, under his touch.

When he pulled back, Sasuke was scowling, even though his cheeks were suspiciously darker.

So he smiled, and kissed Sasuke again, just because he could.

In order to complete this moment of perfection, Naruto snaked an arm around Sasuke's waist and murmured against his open mouth, 'manly hug?'

The kick that was aimed at Naruto's shins resulted in him limping even worse than Sasuke when they made their way down for lunch that afternoon.

*

THE END

(1) For those who don't already know, heartless are these small, mean things without hearts (!) in the video game Kingdom Hearts.


End file.
